Longing...

I don't rightly know what it is, but lately there has been this longing inside me. Something anxiously trying to claw its way from inside me like an alien. I feel on edge every day. And seeing as how it is my spring break off of school, you think i would be more relaxed or calm. And yet, there is that something. Something that I seem to be waiting for... Maybe not waiting for, but something that I'm waiting to do. Something that I'm looking for. For the life of me, I cannot seem to decide if this feeling is excitement and something happy, or dread and something I'm fearing. All I can be certain of, is that this is some sense of longing. It could just be that I have nothing to do with my time on break. If I don't have something to do, I very well could be just trigger happy for finally having to be busy all the time. But it feels like something more. Like some mystic force inside of me trying to prepare me that something is headed my way. It may just be that which I do not know that is making me feel fear or anxiety. My clouded vision into the future that is keeping me on my toes. To me it feels like someone has put a sandbag on my chest. Is there stuff in my life now to fear? Possibly. Is there something in my life now to be excited about and have longing for? Very well could be. But what is it now that is constantly making me wonder? What could it be that is tugging at my very soul and breaking its way through the bone and sinew in my chest? What is this weight that has been laid upon my heart? Too long now have I waited to know. Waited to meet this longing...